yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
