apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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