8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
