Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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