Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
