she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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