i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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