Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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