I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
