Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
