Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
