I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
