Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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