She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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