Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
