i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
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Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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