So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
