i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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