6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
