omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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