If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
