his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
