i think my mom watched the whole time
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
