I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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