dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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