mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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