turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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