hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
