I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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