i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
