No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
