Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
