You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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