The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
