The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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