never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
