question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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