It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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