THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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