And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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