Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My nipple is on Facebook.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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