two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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