the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
