she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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