it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
