well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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