party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
