I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
