Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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