Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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