I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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