are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
