he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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