I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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