Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
