You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
