College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
