i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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