C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
