Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
