How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
