I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
