nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
