I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
