it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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