She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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