Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Farmville is her only friend.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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